Theoretical physics jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
Q: How did Stephen Hawking die?
A: He lost internet connection.
Yes, Stephen Hawking is alive.
YEET!
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now? No, because he is dead.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
Steven Hawking said there is no God,
Then God said there is no Steven Hawking.
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Enter, backspace, enter, backspace, enter, backspace.