Stay

Stay jokes

Name

  • Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

    Peter: "Hi Jack."

    Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

    Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

    Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

    Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

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  • Penandes

  • So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.

    Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!

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  • Face

  • Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

    Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”

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  • Birthday Party

  • I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.

    Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.

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  • Orphan

  • One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

    Drive

  • It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.

    Time

  • Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

    Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

    Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

    Shower

  • Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.

    She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.

    "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."

    They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."

    "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"

    "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.

    "Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."

    "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"

    "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."

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