After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
One day I went to my friend's apartment and he told me to make myself home. I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party? “Nice spread!”
i invited my friend with a vasectomy done for a party. unfortunately he couldnt come.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke-up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey".
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop. The man asked for some crack The woman turned around and said, 'here.' That's where the crack was. you guessed it.
The next day she wiped it clean ready for the next guest who 'wanted crack' ;)
Hi guys, I’m so so so bored. Will point is does anyone have time for chatting tomorrow, around 12:00 or so on? Guest list included
1 Gwen
2 water sharky So on and so on.
We can talk about Reddit or just other things. Thank you. 😀
I guy once went hunting at a Hunting Ranch .After a long day of hunting, the hunter enjoys a couple of cold ones in Rancher’s Living-room .There they were having a grand ole time then the Ranchers wife walks in .The Hunter says “that’s a nice piece of ass you got your self there”,The Rancher replied “(harsh raspy Southern chuckle from years of Marlboro Reds)You’ve never been so right in your life ,honey why don’t show our guest your tits”,.She agrees and shows the hunter her plump DD cup breast.The Hunter says “Nice”,then Rancher said show em yer peker now.She agreed and whipped out a 13 in Johny .Dazed and confused the Hunter says “What in Sam Hill is that!!”,and the Rancher replied “Now....Lemme tell you..There ain’t a thing like it”.
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater; not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her; every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well, that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every tuesday - just to keep her spirits up.
One tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story, and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: I work as a magician in the touring show - today we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate - but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin.
