Stay

Stay jokes

Little Johnny

  • Little Johnny was staying at his grandparents' house, and he asked his grandpa, "Can I have a cigarette?" His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "No." "Then that's your answer." A little bit later, Little Johnny asked for a beer. His grandpa said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" He said, "I already said no." "Well, that's your answer." Later, he was complaining to his grandma, and she gave him cookies. His grandpa came up to him and said, "Can I have a cookie?" Little Johnny said, "Well, can your dick touch your asshole?" His grandpa said, "Well, yes, it can." And Little Johnny said, "Well, go fuck yourself, old man, because these are my cookies."

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  • Time

  • Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

    Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

    Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

    Johnny Depp

  • Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

    Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

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  • Act

  • I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

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  • Police

  • There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

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  • Swing

  • Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?

    She had no arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who’s there?

    Not Susie.

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  • Covid

  • Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

    Submarine

  • Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Angela Merkel are standing at the shore and are trying to impress each other with the accomplishments of their countries. Putin brags, "We have nuclear submarines which can stay underwater for six weeks without having to resurface!". Trump goes on, "Six weeks? That's nothing. I have the best submarines, they're underwater für at least three months!". Merkel is about to respond, when a giant steel colossus emerges from the sea. A hatch opens, a black uniform appears - "Heil Hitler! We need Diesel."

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  • Song

  • 1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

    3, 4, better lock your door.

    5, 6, grab a crucifix.

    7, 8, stay up late.

    9, 10, never sleep again.

    I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

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  • Jesus

  • Bick: Jesus isn't real.

    Ron: Yes, He is.

    Bick: Prove it, bitch.

    Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.

    Bick: Wh-?

    Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!

    The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.

    Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.

    Bick: Told you Jesus was real.

    Satan: Get to work, slaves.

    Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.

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