Star jokes

I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?

So gay people can play Star Wars.

They should bring Michael Jackson back from the dead so he can star in the Peter Pan horror movie.

Yesterday I saw an orphan kid playing GTA and told him he can't get 5 stars because he ain't wanted.

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

Uber driver: .........

Me: .........

Uber driver: .........

Me: 5 stars.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?

One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?

Because they're not wanted.

Reviews for the Chinese flag are in!

5 stars!

What did a Jedi say to Darth Vader? "You're not my father, I am yours!"

How do stars get their name?

By a black hole because it's sueeeee!