Star Wars jokes
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay people can play Star Wars.
Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?
To play Star Wars.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.