Star Wars

Star Wars jokes

Son

Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.

Palpatine: Knew it.

Movie

Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?

Because it was a Rogue One!

School shooting

So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."

Slogan

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

Slogan

Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?

Stole his slogan, just do it!

Yoda

What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?

"Dirty bitch, you are."

Lightsaber

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

Wheelchair

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

Movie

Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda was in charge of scheduling.

Lightsaber

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

Character

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)