Stand Jokes

Stephen Hawking tried comedy. His first line ruined it. 'You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand.'

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied so I encouraged him to stand up for himself idk why he started crying

He was In a fight then a person said stand up for yourself

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away it's chair

why was the short person a coward.they didnt stand up to challenges

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

Why was Stephen hawking always bullied? Because he couldn’t stand up for himself

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing and kneeling; I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!

Florida: Homemade Taco Stand

California: Homemade Lemonade Stand

Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid what is he going to do for his self stand up

what does the A stand for orphan, adopt from the orphan company

Roses are red

Your passports are blue

Now go stand over there

In that very long quEUe

Twinkle Twinkle there’s a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end

what do you say to a cripeld man getting bullied why not you stand up for yourself

Why couldnt proffessor xavier fight magneto? because he couldnt stand up for himself

What does BLM stand for? Bisexual Lives Matter

A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"