Stand Jokes

What does the initials ACLU stand for 🤔 American Communist Lawyers Union

If I was a history teacher I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them

why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!

my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.

Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection

A fake name and fake phone number.

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand? Breakfast in bed!

So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.

He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.

My friend and I were joking about a wheelchair kid and another kid came up and said to the wheel chair kid you should stand up for your self

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?

This is a stand-up.

Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.

"Moo!" says the second.

What does the initials bible stand for? Bull In Book Lacking Evidence

I can tell a joke :`)

Twinkle Twinkle there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way I will not be seen again Are you happy I am dead Now you made it to the end