When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
What do the initials CIA stand for?
Central Intelligence of A**holes.
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.
Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?
Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.
Store owner: But still, why?
Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.
Store owner: Oh, I get it now!
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
NASA stands for naughty aliens spewing apricots.
My friend that was in a wheel chair was getting bullied so I said stand up for yourself.
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
The d in Africa stands for democracy....
The F in Orphan stand for Famulu
What does NASA stand for? Need a star asap
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family.
Me: yep they definitely have one 100% 💯
