Stand jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.
Yo mama is so ugly, even the ugliest person in the world looked like a sword standing next to her.
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold? A: It’s always 90 degrees.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.
I just stand at the back and ting.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
The "W" in African stands for water.
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
What makes Stephen Hawking and your dumped girlfriend similar?
They can't stand up for themselves.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
So I went to a mall and I was finna buy something... and I saw a little boy and he said "hello," so then I passed by him and he said "hi," and I was like "hi nigga," and he said, "um, just wondering something... I mean I like jokes, but what is dark humor?" And I was like "umm🤔.. it's like 🤔🤔...like you see that guy without legs? Tell him to stand up"... and he said "I'm blind nigga" and I said "exactly homie"... aight nigga peace and look out😏😉
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."