Spouse jokes
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
Who's the smallest wife??
Micro-wife.
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife? “Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Marriage is really educational.
When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.
joe mama roast
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
If a woman’s version of marriage is "happy wife, happy life," but statistically men are more likely to kill themselves, so who should be making who happy?
Then a man’s is "happy husband, don’t get bludgeoned."
Today was a terrible day. My wife got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
What do you call your mom?
My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
I'm Joe Biden's husband.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.