Sports jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they will never get home.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
What's a rapper's favorite sport?
Rhyme racing.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
There are women complaining about being r@ped.
JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Yo, hairline is as accurate as my jump shot.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.