Sports jokes
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico? Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”