Sports jokes

Why can’t Asians play baseball?

Because they can’t see the ball.

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...

He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.

What is a cow's favorite water sport?

Ca-MOO-ing!

Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they will never get home.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

Stop making jokes about Kobe.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.

What are Mexicans' favorite sport?

Who’s the hottest girl in the world?

Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!

How is sports like regular life for orphans?

They don't get picked for either.

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!