Sports jokes
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
What do you call an ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.
I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
A ball hit me in the vagina.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Arsenal
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"