Sports jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
What's Africa's greatest sporting achievement? The 2018 World Cup...
A ball hit me in the vagina.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
Pedophiles don't win races because they like to come in a little behind.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
P = Person (not original "pun")
P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!
(Communications with this person are now blocked)
Arsenal
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."