What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
Spider Jokes
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA