Spider jokes
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
An orphan comes up to me and says, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.