Spider jokes
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.