Spider jokes
Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test? He's an excellent parallel Parker.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)
Memes
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Why do orphans like Spider-Man?
'Cause they really enjoy Far From Home and No Way Home. Damn, was he mad about Spider-Man Homecoming!
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
What do you call Cap and Spider-Man? Spider-America!