Spider jokes
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
What type of cartoon do spiders like to watch the most?
Web Cartoons!
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
What is an orphan's favorite naval film?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
Called a homeless kid 'Spider-Man' because he had no way home.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
A poor person came up to me and said, "You're ugly." I said, "You remind me of Spider-Man: No Way Home."
What is an orphan's favorite Marvel movie?
"Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"