My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

What do you do after your girlfriend with two broken legs dumps you?

Take her wheel chair, she’ll come crawling back.

How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? You nail its other hand to the floor.

What’s red, small, wet and crawls up your leg?

  • A homesick abortion

When my girlfriend broke up with me I took her wheelchair. I always knew she would come crawling back

How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor? Nail one hand to the ground…How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor

Q. Whats red and crawls up your leg? A. A homesick abortion.

Whats red white and blue, and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion

Why can’t a orphine play baseball. Because he doesn’t know where home is

I maybe not that gppd with puns on this site but I got a SKELE-TON of jokes. Hey what’s the matter pal, is there something crawling UNDER your skin

Walking’s a chore, let alone crawling

My son asked me “ what is angel cake made of?” I reply by listing the ingredients in mr Kipling angel cakes, Then he shouts “STOP” I stop as I reach food colourings he slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper “well in my angel cake I put angels in them” I freaked out about this so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake he said”grandma the one who died last Saturday”

why do u have to wipe yourself with toilet paper because bugs can crawl eat your poop and drink your pee

Trump’s cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, & some actually cover your butt when you need them…

Me: My gf broke up with me yesterday and I had her wheel chair

Me: guess who came crawling right back

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