Arachnophobia jokes

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.

I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????

Nope. I'm moving to Japan.

KONNICHIWA

God creating spiders.

God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?

Both have eight legs.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

What's the similarities between Spiderman and a homeless person?

They both have no way home!