Speech jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ahoy Mateys.
Ahoy Mateys who?
Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
What did the man say about someone who had a seizure?
"Jit was lagging."
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
You mehheheeheheeeehehehe.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.
Hi everyone, today I am taking requests for anything you want me to say.
What's a deaf kid's favorite words?
"Shut up."
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no bell" prize.
"Aren't you going back home now?"
"No, I am going back home."