Space jokes

When you realize the shuttle blew up.

Then you realize you're on the shuttle.

Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?

He couldn't get up the kerb.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

What does Mars like to eat?

A Mars bar!

Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?

Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.

I like Uranus.

Why can’t moons walk?

'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!

What do you call a black hole?

Butt hole.

I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!

Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!

Why do planets circle the sun?

'Cause they like the game of ring-around-the-rosy.

NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

Your mama is so fat, the Marvel Universe disappeared.

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldn’t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, “I’m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?” We then decided to aid him.

What do you call grass that grows in space?

Astro-turf.

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...