Sound jokes
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
Poopy loopy.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
Twin monks who ring the church bells died.
Now they are dead ringers. :)
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make? A. A dino-snore.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
Say "crack my finger" backwards.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
Porn *sex noises*