So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.
atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touch each other or anything, so sir, I did not drop-kick that child
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan. What are they gonna do tell there mum
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
Yo mama is so fat and old, when Jesus said "Let there be Light!" he told your mama to move out of the way!
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men right? So they are able to fight back right? Then prove it! My EQUALITEHHHHHHHH
yo mama is so fat thanos snapped twice
yo mamma so stupid she starved to death in a groacy store
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked passed this fish market, he took a deep breath and said " WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES"
yo mama feet is so fat she had to wear a sock on each toe
Yo forehead so big NASA thought it was mars
Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that...I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.
your forehead is so huge, you dont have dreams, you have movies, follow me on instagram: _zer0x3
This homeless lady called me ugly so I told her “ok then imma just go on home”
My Crush: I cut 4 inches of my hair yesterday Me: So? My Crush 4 Inches is alot! Me: Oh yeah?
A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud. "Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot" says the bird. "Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!" "I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird. "Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs." "Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers." "Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?" "Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I can not afford that." "Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman." "What!?" says the man. "Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth." "And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?" "Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere." "My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?" "Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down." "And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams . "No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick ..."
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real
