SOS jokes

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.

Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.

Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.