SOS jokes

A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

He came in twice.

(like if u understand)

Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.

Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.

Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.

my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.

So I stabbed him. Now we wait.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"