SOS jokes

Girlfriend

My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.

Feminine side

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car, then didn't talk to her for the rest of the day for no reason.

Body

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

Surprise

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.

Pregnancy

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

Memes

Teacher

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

Mama

Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"

Fat

Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Chess

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

Time

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.