SOS jokes
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
Memes
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.
Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.
Your forehead is so big, your entire face is on your chin.
Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.
Because Jill's real name was Randy.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.