SOS jokes

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."

For all of my musicians out there!

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with you parents soon." He said, "My parents died." I said, "I know...." I went for the cliffs.

Why do nuns walk in groups?

So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

Roses are red, violets are blue, Fortnite is dead and so are you.

Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.

I rode to the bottle shop on my bike yesterday. I bought a whole bottle of wine and put it in the basket on the front of my bike.

Then I thought, if I fell off my bike on the way back home, it would smash and shatter. So I drank all the wine and threw away the bottle.

It was a good idea, because I fell off my bike about four times on the way back.

A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"

The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".

The man asks, "Ten what?"

Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.