Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Your forehead's so big, it makes Kanye's ego small.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?
Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it.
Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow.
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
my therapist says with time all wounds can heal.
So I stabbed him. Now we wait.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Yo mama so ugly even Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.
Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
