Why is 10 so scared. Cause it was in the middle of 9/11
My friends: ugh why are you so lazy and no fun My parents: why can't u be like ur siblings My teacher: I don't care if ur depressed focus on ur study! The songs: we understand you :)
yo mamma so fat when God said let there be light he was just asking her to get out the way
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Teacher: Ok class I'm going to ask a question about your family. Alex: Miss my Dad died In 9/11 Teacher: OH NO IM SO SORRY! Alex: Don't worry miss It was only Dad and besides he did what he wanted before he died. Teacher: What was that? Alex: Flew the plane.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Your Hairline is so far back it left before your dad
Yeah, Asians have squinty eyes, but that's because they have had the displeasure of seeing so many ugly obese Americans in one place.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moal,religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral,religious or health reasons can still be a cocksucker so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
