SOS Jokes

Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '

Hey can't wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!

My best friend looked at my arms and said “stop sh it’s bad” then turns right around and says “you look like a tiger”

so from here on out i am now Finn the self harming tiger

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

Man: whats up? Me: im annoyed Man: Why? Me: I stole my gf's heart Man: So why are you annoyed? Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks

I do t get why cancer is so hard to beat. I’m already on stage 4

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

Yo'Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...

So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

Your forehead is so big megamind thought you were his brother

My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

Yo Mama's so fat... whilst she was walking the streets of London, she accidentally bumped into someone, and that someone yelled, "Stupid American!"

I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar