Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk... about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house
doctor: i'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left. man: what?! what about my family??! my son is still missing! i can't just leave like that! doctor: don't worry sir, i told your family. man: that's.. great.. if they found my son, tell them that i love him more than anything and i couldn't keep that promise. the doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes. doctor: i will... dad..
tq for reading my crappy joke
Me: Hey wanna know my spirit animal
Friend: Sure
Me: Road kill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead
Me: Aren't you my son
Friend: So that's what mom was trying to hide from me
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood off her son’s cock!
As a son I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CCD. It was on speaker so me and mom hear both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. there names were johony and papa All of the sudden,johony passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My son just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
So a husband and a wife have three kids. the husband is on his death bed and he looks up at his wife and says. "Honey, is our youngest song truly and honestly mine?" She says in response. "I sware on everything that is good and holy our youngest son is your" He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breathe, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
There are 2 dads and 2 sons they all caught a fish, Why did they only come home with 3 fish? (Answer) There were a grand-dad- dad- and son. If you don't get then it means grand father is the dad to the dad(1 dad) dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather, Get it?
So one day I was walking home from school with my best friend sally. She was worried to get home because she was going to tell her mom that bob the class rep got her pregnant a eight months ago and now it was obvious she was pregnant. So I said “sally it’ll be ok I’m sure she’ll be happy to get a grandson” “yeah thanks suzy” she said to me then went into her house. The next few weeks she didn’t show up to school so I was like oh she must be in trouble with her mom I’ll go check on her So I walk up to her house and her mom answers with a baby boy in her hands “oh hello. Is that Sally’s son!! Can I see sally?” Her mom says sure and I go inside but she leads me to the backyard and I see a tombstone “here lies sally 2004-2020” so I ask her mom in tears “oh did she not make it through the birth?” And her mom replied “you could say that..”
Someone walks up to his dad and says Dad what’s the difference between potentiality and reality soo ok the dad says to the son go ask your mother sister and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for a $1,000,000 so the son comes back 5 minutes later and said dad they all said they would sleep with the postman so son petentilay we have a million dollars but in reality we have two slits and a gay one
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the fathers back. Keeping calm he tells the sons, "well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled then passed out from pain.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his christmas present ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. the ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
OK son", he says. It's as easy as counting to 5.
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4".
When you say to your dad ............................... AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DAD BE LIKE ....... WHO WANTS MY SON NAN BE LIKE ME KID BE LIKE ........AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX WHAT ARE ROUX SAYS NAN UM THERE YOUR LIFE SAVINGS NAN BE LIKE LETS GET SOME ROUX
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, 'why are you crying my son?' 'my parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died,' 'it's just not your day today is it' Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
So apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
This kid was going to sleep and h said night mum night dad and night gramma and bye grandpa next morning grandpa died and the next night he said night dad night mum night grandma and gramma died the next morning and the next night he said night mum bye dad and they heard the postman died bc he was the dad lol
There were these three men, their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day they were riding in their car and Shit fell out so Manners went out to pick shit up and shut up went to the police station. when he got there the police officer said "What's your name son?" and Shut up said "Shut up." the officer replies with "Ummm...excuse me?!" and shut up said "Shut up!" and the officer said "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?" The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore."
