Someone's jokes

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"

"That's not my age; it's just not true.

My heart is young; the time just flew.

I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.

Question: How was Covid-19 born?

Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂

If Emma Feel had a penny every time someone gave her head, she would have enough to make Mark Zuckerberg and Trump her third-legged bitch.

The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.

What did John say after someone shot his leg?

Oof!

I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!

Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠

Why the actual f

is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry