Someone's jokes
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"
Why do orphans come to me?
'Cause they have someone to call "father."
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.
like if you know someone that is emo.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Question: How was Covid-19 born?
Answer: Someone fucked Batman! 😂
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
I will pay someone to kill me.
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.
The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.
He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.
When he died, the Angel came back for him.
"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.
"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."