Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Can someone be my daddy?
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh câmon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think youâre dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad youâre standing alone.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.
If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.
It looks like your face was lit on fire and someone tried to extinguish it with a hammer!
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make a run vhaleka.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?
Hey guys. I just wanted to say, while I think some rape jokes can be funny, not one of these are. In fact, I find them pretty horrifying.
I was raped when I was fourteen (about six years ago), and I have made one rape joke in my entire life when, last year, I said "I don't fuck with rapists, I just get fucked by them." I thought it was funny. No one else did, and they were probably right in that.
My point is this: rape jokes CAN be funny when they are used by victims as a way of coping with trauma. They CANNOT be funny when they are made about raping someone else. Even if there is a difference between joking about raping someone and raping someone, it is absolutely disgusting to think such a horrific crime is funny, and I am sure at least some of the posters on this page have already crossed the line into committing rape.
Great material for social scientific research, though, gentlemen. Really well done.
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."
