Someone jokes

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Bone

  • Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.

    Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.

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  • Orphan

  • The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

    He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

    I said, "Your parents, buddy."

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    Bad Luck

  • Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

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  • Mile

  • Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

    So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

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  • Grass

  • Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

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    Interest

  • What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?

    When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.

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  • Orphan

  • What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?

    Someone: Ugly?

    Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.

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    Class

  • Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

    Class: No one stands up.

    Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*

    Little Johnny: *stands up.*

    Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

    Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

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    Comeback

  • Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

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  • Rape

  • What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.

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