What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victims Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..." Me: "Honestly...Probably his ass."
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Ok so km bored depressed and lonley someone wanna talk....
Im treated like god when im home, im usually ignored until someone wants something.
Why did an orphan have S** To have someone to call daddy.
Someone asked me my gender... I said woah man
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy. But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
I will pay someone to kill me
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong
Did you know an orphan is deeply religious. Because they can finally call someone father.
Why did the orphan become a str1per.So she can have someone to call daddy.
when you suffer from deppresion and some tells you to just cheer up god damn why didnt i think of that
What’s the difference between a child and someone who been kidnapped?? One of them is a domesticated pet
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father
why do orphans pray to God.
so they have someone to call father
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?