Someone jokes
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.
What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?
They cry...
They scream... with joy.
"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."
Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
Someone telling a joke:
Boy: "My parents are dead."
Girl: "My grandad is too."
Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"
Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?
They actually can call someone "daddy!"
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Why are Nepalese bad at chess?
Because someone already killed their king!