Someone jokes

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When someone tickles his funny bone!

Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?

Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.

Boy: Okay, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Brick.

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.

Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?

You just got fruit-rolled.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!

Ok, so I'm bored, depressed, and lonely. Someone wanna talk?

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.