Someone jokes

How did Stephen Hawking die?

Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!

My friends think I'm bipolar. I threw a pencil case at someone and I walked out, walked back in 2 seconds later and I was sunshines and rainbows.

Why do orphans go to church?

They have someone to call "father" there.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Someone fucked a member of BTS.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Why the actual f

is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Did you know an orphan is deeply religious because they can finally call someone "father."

Why did the orphan go to a church?

So he could call someone "father."

Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.

Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.

So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

Why do orphans pray to God?

So they have someone to call father.

When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

I'm as bored as heck, someone want to chat?

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.