Someone jokes

Why couldn’t the midget talk?

Because someone stepped on him.

Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.

Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

I will pay someone to kill me.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

Why do orphans love to go to church?

Because they can finally call someone "father!"

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...

Why was the orphan so successful? Because once someone told him "go big or go home," and he only had one option.

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

One time I went to high-five someone. I've been left hanging ever since.

What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.

Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call dad. 🤣

So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"