why did ur emo mom get u? to have someone to hang out with.
Why do orphanes go to church................ it’s the only place they can call someone father
what is it called when someone is in a wheel chair and in a fire?
(hot wheels...)
Follow me if you know someone smart.
What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o clock on new years. First kill of the match
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says "Sorry, It was an axe-cident!"
when someone calls you gay say im straight straighter than your hairline
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When someone said to an orphan my boyfriend ghosted me the orphan says back don't worry my parents ghosted me 🤣
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.
Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Will just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!
It's funny dating someone smarter than you, my girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be, let me explain, say for example she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Child: mom someone told me you talk like an owl
teacher: who
Child: oh it is true you do talk like an owl
Why do the orphan always go to church? Because that’s the only place he could call someone father.
I love orphans so atleast they know someone loves them
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
Little Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher said, "okay everyone, Tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet". Johnny didn't know the alphabet so he decided to ask his family. He walked in the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mamma, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV and he says, "Tommy what's the Second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman". So He went to his Grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma what's the third letter of the Alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher come to Johnny she says, "Johnny what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now" - Johnny "Who do you think you are young man to talk to someone like me that way?" - teacher "I'm Batman" - Johnny The teacher whups his ass and little johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"
Later that day he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse that he accidentally cussed to his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.
Be grateful: You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
Why did the orphans go to the church?
Because they need someone to call a father.
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
For someone to be stealing a bag of glod in heaven criminal on Earth and heaven
