Software jokes
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Fortnite Android Beta
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
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Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
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How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have any Windows.
Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.