Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
Stephen Hawking died because his wife misunderstood him when he said, "My Windows Needs Updating." She had the double glazing removed, and he fell out and died.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...
Fucking Windows updates!
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
Damn, this computer stopped working. It's got autism.
