Software jokes
How many electrical engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That is the electrician's job. I am a specialist.
How many software engineers?
Again, none. It's a hardware problem.
How many computer programmers to change a light bulb?
Two, but one resigns halfway through the project.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised.
Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
The Stephen Hawking space telescope will be launched next year. Apparently, it will have four wheels and run off Windows 7.