Software jokes

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.

He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.

It's not pedophilia, it's early access.

He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.

Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.

How did the computer get out of the house?

He used windows.

Isn't there a software company named after your dick?

Microsoft?

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

Where did the software developer go?

I don’t know, he ransomware!

I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.

The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.

He's not really dead, his update failed.

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

It sucks that Stephen Hawking died so soon, the new Intel update just came out.

The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.

Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

Facial detection? More like racial detection.