Software jokes

How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.

Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.

Why don't you fart in an Apple Store?

Because they don't have any Windows.

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.

01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100010 01111001 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01110101 01110100 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101001 01110100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100001 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110010 00111111 00100000 01000100 01100001 01110100 01100001 00101110

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to update to Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"

The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”

I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.

Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.

He installed a hacked client on his MC server called cancer.exe.

You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I immediately think, "Not now."

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

Facial detection? More like racial detection.