Yo mama so stupid, she tried to climb Mt. Dew.
Why does NASA only serve Coke?
Because they can't get Seven-Up!
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What is your true crush?
A soda crush.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
Why does Doctor Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...
Mountain Dew!
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper.
Fanta Klare Zitrone is cool.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
