Society jokes
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find their way home.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Why can't an orphan go to S. C. Johnson?
Because it's family owned.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!