Society jokes
What is the most common crime in Asia?
Identity fraud.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
Why do white people own a lot of pets?
Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Why are handicap signs blue?
Because they're all Crips.
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
Why do orphans have criminal records?
So they can be wanted.
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Do you know where priests go at night?
To all night sale at Boys R Us.
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
What is flatter than an Asian?
Their nose.