Society jokes
Why can't orphans have a large bag of crisps?
Because it's family size! 😂
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need parent registration!
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
Yo mama so stupid, she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer!
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
It doesn't know where home is.
What do you call it when you see Chinese people in a gang?
The "Ching Chang Gang."
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. That's why orphanages exist!
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
What's the difference between drugs and children? I don't sell drugs.
What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?
They both need to make sounds to be recognized.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Why are orphans prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What do you call a blowjob in Africa?
Breakfast.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.
When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.