Society jokes
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.
But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
A blind kid was talking to me because he was getting bullied...
I told him, "Just tell them what you see!"
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
What do you call black people in pool?
Coco Pops.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a home page!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Then: You want free candy?
Now: You want free Wi-Fi?
Bored?
Burn an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?