Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
All the lines on the LGBT flag are straight.
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?
Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?
Think about it, lol. Haha.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Black people run fast.
People generalize others too much.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
