My mom: "Dear, I don't know why your grandma is spending more time with her friend Carla, can you spy on her?"
Me: "Your mom gay lol."
My mom: "Don't talk about your grandma like that, you rude girl."
You: "Your mom gay lol."
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
What’s the difference between bossatron5678 and a gay man?
One isn’t retarded, and one isn’t gay; the gay man is dead.
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
What do you call a grown-up orphan? Homeless.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
We're all unique, which is something we all have in common.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
When you're mean to the quiet kid in your class and he kills everyone, good times.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
