What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Life is a bitch and people make it worse This Thing that I'm in ("am") is a Forsaken curse (beta)
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
What kind of person will steal Captain Hook's hook?
Answer: A hooker.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Manchester City is gay.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
What did the first rape victim say to the second rape victim?
"You are a consequence of rape!"
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
