Soccer jokes
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Why can't orphans play soccer?
They can't kick.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
Harry Kane and Hitler are similar; they both did nazi them losing.
LewenGOALski
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
Lessi
The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.
Messi chiquito...
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.
Why do people play soccer?
Because people need to kick harder to win a parent.
Hell hates freezers, England, and soccer.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer? Because she's a girl.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.