What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
How do you make a peanut laugh? You crack it up!
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What’s long, white, and full of cream? A cheese stick.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
Takis.
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
