I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
Whats the difference between a baby and a dorito? One is a tasty snack, the other is a dorito.
What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?
An emochi. (search up mochi)
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
Takis.
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
