Sleep Jokes

I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.

It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

your like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Spongebob is standing, looking at a very long list, while Gary is on the left side also looking at a long list.

Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."

Orphan: Starts crying.

What do you call a sleeping cow? Ground beef

Q: What’s the difference between a sleeping lady and an onion?

A: One doesn’t scream when you try to chop it up.

My friend tried to sleep on napkins.

I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.

If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?

What time should you go to bed when it's bedtime?

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...