Sleep jokes

There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.

There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!

What are the last two words you say after sex before going to sleep?

"Goodnight, Mom!"

Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.

Yo mama so fat, she fell off both sides of the bed!

Friday's opening is open. Religion: "Dark model?" Hopi, Kahan, Virra, Sayla, Salafa, Sales, Power, Sleep. Google is “that cave”.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.

Men wake up with a boner.

Women wake up yawning.

Coincidence?

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed!

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield!

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

I did a walk today, but it was good for Tyler. I was just trying to have a good time to sleep good. I got yyy night and a night.

This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

I replied, "I done it as a joke."

-April 1, 2020

Pokemon: Why was Hypno so energetic?

He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.

I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."

I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.

Because I am an orphan.

What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?

Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.