Slang jokes
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
What's a rapper's favorite type of FOOTWEAR?
Rhyme-n-Sneakers.
Memes
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Like if you have nuts.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What do you call an abo with a shotgun?
Sir.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx