Slang jokes
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Like if you have nuts.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."
My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"
Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"
So Mungus.
What do my balls and emos have in common?
...Nothing, they both hang themselves...
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Me: Do you like cobble?
My friend: No.
Me: Gobble deez nuts!
Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"