Slang jokes

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

What do you call a dick playing badminton?

A shuttlecock.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

What did the shoes say to the pants?

"SUP, BRITCHES!"

Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"

"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"

"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx

Me: Do you like cobble?

My friend: No.

Me: Gobble deez nuts!

So Mungus.

What do my balls and emos have in common?

...Nothing, they both hang themselves...

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.

Ima start callin' these hoes roosters, 'cause any cock-a-do.

"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

Kenya? Ligma balls!

I have nut cancer...

Willy bum.

What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.

What do you call a bald Mexican?

A huevo.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!

(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)