Slang jokes
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't even.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
My favorite meme is, "N_gga."
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
Y'all ass fr fr.
What’s a booty’s favorite type of bread?
Buns.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
Why did the booty go to the party?
It heard it was a "bash."
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.