Slang jokes

Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.

Black comedy name week:

Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday

What do you call a lesbian pirate?

Red Beard.

Why are farts a nice break for emos?

They get to cut cheese.

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?

She thought it was diet coke.

How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?

Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.

Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?

A. To organize his thots.

Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?

Because they already 69'd.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?

Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.

What do you call a dick?

Suck my dick!

My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.

But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"

Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?

What do renovators and lesbians have in common?

They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.

My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"

My bully. 😭

You know what they call pineapples in Paris?

I don't know, what?

Anus.

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?

Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.

Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).

Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.

Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.

Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.

Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.

MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.

LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.

Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.

What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.