Slang jokes
The penis has a sad life. His hair is always a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.
He also stands up for kids who can't defend themselves.
Smoking a fag in the UK means to smoke a cigarette.
Smoking a fag in the USA means to kill a homosexual.
Black comedy name week:
Malt liquor Monday Tupac Tuesday Watermelon Wednesday Thong Thursday Fried chicken Friday Sukie Sukie Saturday Slap a hoe Sunday
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
Why are farts a nice break for emos?
They get to cut cheese.
Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?
She thought it was diet coke.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
Why did the three 23s not go to the orphanage?
Because they already 69'd.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What do you call a dick?
Suck my dick!
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
What do renovators and lesbians have in common?
They're both not interested in exposed wood, apparently.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
You know what they call pineapples in Paris?
I don't know, what?
Anus.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Codenames for them FUCKING drugs, my crackhead ngas.
Cannabis: Weed, Pot, Ganja, Herb, Grass, Mary Jane, Bud, Chronic, Kush, Trees, Hash, Hashish (concentrates).
Cocaine: Coke, Blow, Snow, Dust, Charlie, White girl, Pearl, Nose candy, Rail, Sniff.
Crack Cocaine: Rock, Hard, Nuggets, Dice, Jelly beans, Moon rocks, Sugar block.
Heroin: Smack, H, Dope, Junk, Black tar, Brown sugar, China white, Horse, Dragon, Skag.
Methamphetamine (Meth): Crank, Speed, Chalk, Ice, Crystal, Glass, Shards, Tina.
MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly): E, X, XTC, Molly, Beans, Adam, Happy pill, Love drug, Dancing shoes.
LSD: Acid, Tabs, Doses, Dots, Blotter, Window pane, Sugar cubes.
Ketamine: Special K, K, Vitamin K, Cat Valium, Green K.