I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
Why do girls only stay in odd groups of friends?
Because they literally can't even.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What’s a booty’s favorite type of bread?
Buns.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
How do booties greet each other?
"What's crackin'?"
A son walks up to his dad and says, "I'm so gay right now!"
"HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT!!!" screams the dad.
"No, gay as in HAPPY," says the confused son, "I'm so happy right now!"
"Oh," says the dad, "why are you happy?"
Then the son said, "Because I just got 20 dollars for sucking a guy off."
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
What did the rapper say to his BLENDER?
"Mix it up, yo!"
The gayest person on Earth is Pac-Man.
You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
Michael Jackson is pure cheese.
I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.
