Size jokes
Uranus is huge.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so fat, she needs 17 iPhones to take a selfie.
Yo mama so fat, she the reason why Moses split the Red Sea.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Yo mama so fat, when she went to bed, the house shook.